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Stress Management
The Stress of Death
The Stress of Death
You can recall clearly the day your father took you for your first
bicycle ride. It was a crisp autumn day and the sun was shining on your brand new
Huffy.
You remember his hand gently guiding your bike along the road that
ran by your apartment building. You even recall his smile as you began steering your bike on
your own.
The memory lingers with you as you begin to make preparations for
your fathers burial. He had had a long illness cancer and you knew that the end would be
coming soon.
Yet, you now think that nothing could have prepared you for the
day when he actually died.
While you anticipated a period of mourning, you failed to realize
that you would encounter a great deal of stress as a result of his death.
You may be surprised even shocked by the amount of stress you
feel.
We seldom associate the stress of death, yet the death of a loved
one is one of the most stressful events that can happen in our lives. Whether it is the death
of a parent, a spouse, a child, a sibling, or a beloved friend, death makes us anxious not
only about our loss, but about our own mortality.
The most stressful aspect of death may be the fear of the unknown
you may not know what to expect next, and you may wonder how you will handle the next
obstacle that comes your way.
The most important thing you can do to deal with death related
stress is to recognize it for what it is. Realize that it is perfectly natural for you to
feel worried and anxious during this difficult time.
Try to give yourself some time to pause and reflect. Do not feel
as if you have to "hurry up and get over" the death. Allowing yourself an opportunity to
grieve should help to reduce the stress of death and make you a healthier person, emotionally
speaking.
One thing you can do to help you deal with the stress of death is
to do something positive to remember your loved one by. In other words, consider planting a
tree, making a contribution to your loved ones favorite charity, or volunteering your time at
the nursing home that cared for your loved one in his or her final days.
Discovering that life still offers pleasant possibilities gives
you hope and can help you to deal with your stress more effectively.
Give considerable thought to how your loved one would want you to
carry on after his or her death.
Chances are great that your father, mother, husband, or brother
would not want you sulking in the corner for the rest of your life. Give yourself permission
to go on with life. As a result, you should feel less stress and you should enjoy life
more.
Another effective stress reducing technique is to commit your
thoughts to paper. Writing can be quite therapeutic and can help you gain perspective on your
situation. The process of writing can improve your problem solving skills, making you better
able to cope with your situation.
Also, give yourself time to reread your journal entries. You might
be amazed at how much you have grown, emotionally speaking, over a short period of
time.
If the stress of death becomes overwhelming, by all means seek the
help of a professional.
A counselor can help you to sort out your feelings and recommend
coping techniques. You might find it quite liberating to talk to another individual about
everything you are feeling inside.
In some cases, you might also want to consult with a psychiatrist
to see if there is some medication you can take that will help you deal with death related
anxiety.
All of us will experience the death of someone close to us at some
time in our lives. Therefore, we can expect to deal with the stress of losing someone we
love.
However, it is good to know that there are positive things we can
do to help us deal more effectively with the stress of death.
While, in a certain sense, we may never get over a loved ones
death, we can learn to cope with the loss.
We may even learn to smile again.
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